By Tantri Wija
HELLO, HUMAN. We’re glad we have your attention. This is a far better medium for doing so than our usual method, i.e. buzzing around your face until you flail like a disco dancer. While that is most amusing, it is not conducive to real conversation, and we need to talk, human.
About mead.
Mead, in case you have been living in a cave with a bag over your head, is an alcoholic drink made of fermented honey. Honey made by us, the bees. And while we have mixed feelings about your constant theft of our most precious resource, we long ago came to terms with it used in the creation of that most delicate, pure and dare we even say divine of intoxicating libations.
Mead slaked the thirst and fired the courage of the hero Beowulf, slayer of the monster Grendl. And if it was good enough for Beowulf, it’s good enough for you. Plus, you can get it carbonated now, in case that’s important to you. It seems to be. I hear you’re very fond of some fizzy swill called “White Claw.”
Humans, it is so simple to make mead. You essentially just take the golden elixir of our tireless labour, add yeast and then neglect it for a bit. The ancients used wild yeast, captured from the winds that were the very breath of the divinity, but modern brewers usually use wine yeast, which we suppose is more reliable (but quite a bit less romantic, and therefore less appealing to bees).
And yes — some claim that mead is too sweet, and that no matter how “dry” the preparation, the drink is still cloying and syrup-like. To this we remind you — this is fermented honey. A bit of sweetness is part of the package, and if you don’t like it, go back to drinking your nail-polish remover.
Washington state is good country for bees; it is clean here, and green, and the blackberries plentiful, and a good place for you to finally get on the ball about mead. We’re told that a company called Sky River makes fine mead, and also hear good things about Author Mead, which makes a carbonated version, in cans.
If you must.
Humans, it is so simple to make mead. You essentially just take the golden elixir of our tireless labour, add yeast and then neglect it for a bit. The ancients used wild yeast, captured from the winds that were the very breath of the divinity, but modern brewers usually use wine yeast, which we suppose is more reliable (but quite a bit less romantic, and therefore less appealing to bees).
And yes — some claim that mead is too sweet, and that no matter how “dry” the preparation, the drink is still cloying and syrup-like. To this we remind you — this is fermented honey. A bit of sweetness is part of the package, and if you don’t like it, go back to drinking your nail-polish remover.
Washington state is good country for bees; it is clean here, and green, and the blackberries plentiful, and a good place for you to finally get on the ball about mead. We’re told that a company called Sky River makes fine mead, and also hear good things about Author Mead, which makes a carbonated version, in cans.
If you must.